The sheep that got stuck in a thicket

The sheep in Strathbogie that got stuck in thick vegetation and a fence was there so long that he forgot about paddock life with the rest of the mob. When a neighbour offered to free him he said 'No thanks, I'm fine, I have food and water and I am still part of Hastings' farm.'

Faith is the same. Sometimes we don't even realise we're stuck. I was stuck in a sort of crazy, driven zone to 'make art to earn the privilege of belonging' until I got curious about the daily office. In the first section of my beloved 1978 prayer book are prayers for every morning and evening. (They're in the current edition too.) I'd noticed this in youth group during a boring sermon! But it occurred to me a couple of years ago that my faith might be more useful if I actually prayed to God. I was quite nervous and self-conscious at the start, praying out loud in the cottage next to the house when everyone was out. But soon I found myself begging Jesus, in tears, for what I needed. And it came about. Then I prayed for other people. My friend Joan Wood was a real bonus — she loved to talk about any matters of faith! Anyway, as I prayed for others, it came about! I soon concluded that you have to be careful what you ask for! In fact I had to ask God to turn off the feedback about answered prayers. I was convinced, and 'my' success was starting to do my head in!

I noticed that the daily office had a lot of emphasis on Psalms of praise. It dawned on me that prayer is about God. Even these days if I am upset, to sing a couple of Psalms never fails to calm me, centre and ground me. Anyway I made a move toward God — and he made a move back. And so on. It's like a dance.

I could still have been a part of St John's with music and children's worship and so on. But God moved, I suppose at my request, into my private life. And now, as a person with unemployable disabilities I could have just slipped into a holding pattern with no hope, just determination. Instead Jesus is living through me (yes, even though I do get upset a lot!!!) and my life has no aims other than to be his, to carry out his work that I can do, and to live joyfully in a healed marriage.

So when I was once stuck in the fence and the thick vegetation, I'm now getting a fulfilling run in Hastings' farm — just by asking. Madeleine

Why I put away my white earrings

I have a little whimsy: I match my earrings to the Church calendar, which is colour coded. Big feasts like Christmas and Easter are coloured white or gold: dress up! It's party time.

Leading up to the big feasts is a purple-coloured time of reflection and preparation. Saint's days are red, and so are some other scattered days, such as Pentecost.

Now after the 50-day Easter season, we have a breather of six months, a time to sit by the still waters with God, to learn and grow as human beings. The colour, unsurprisingly, is green, and so are my earrings (thanks to Jackie at the art coop!).

This is the season to investigate, question, read and learn, alone and with others. A time to experiment, succeed, fail, and let Jesus work metanoia on you! This is the season for Contemplative Art and Enquiry and continuing our weekly reflections on how the Gospels influence our lives.

Meditation at St. John's:
Thursdays 7.00 pm - 7.30 pm

Meditation has a long tradition in Christianity. Come to experience this ancient form of Christian prayer.

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